Sticks up arses

Life's a bitch, ain't it?

Inmy local coffee shop today (Hoffi Coffi, Treforest, for connersewers) I witnessedthe latest Eminem vid. And it got me to thinking about those celebs who need tolighten the fuck up. Here’s the tip of my iceberg:

Eminem
Marsh, Mate, is this angry young man shit going to go on for much longer? I mean,spittling on about how hard it is to dragyour pasty carcass up from da streets is wearing a bit thin now that you’rewiping your arse on $50 notes.

Chris Martin

Look it’s bad enough that youchurn out tinkly bollocks under the name of Cold Patrol/ Snow Play (interchangeablemiddle class angst if ever I heard it). Do you have to bang the fuck on aboutcocoa farmers in some distant corner of Costa Rica while you are at it? No. Sodon’t.

Bon(i)o

You short arsed, jaw-jutting,be-trilbied, shade-draped twat. You want to feed the fucking world? The stoptelling me to cough up and flog your frigging soapbox collection instead.

Darcus Howe

Darcus, Darcus, Darcus...I’msick to fuck of hearing you banging on so God knows how you must feel. If I hadto listen to your self-satisfied ranting for as long as you’ve been doing it I’dpour Domestos into my ears. And no, that’s not cos you is black. It’s cos you’rea bell-end.

Peter Tatchell

OK, OK, you’ve done your bitfor LGBT (ABCDEFG...) rights but what’s with the permanent frigging outrage?How the fuck haven’t you sicked up your own appendix with your fury yet?

Jeremy Vine

Oh, it’s not enough to hijackRadio 2 for two hours every lunchtime is it? No, it’s not. You have to comeover all Daily Mail about it n’all. Mate, you’re this close from banning yourown show for being full of shit. Wish you would.