Choc Full of Bollocks

You don't say!

Oh, for fuck's sake. For fuck's, fuck's sake. Last night I was very kindly offered a chocolate from a festive tin of Roses. I was, of course, chuffed to shit until I went to unwrap said Hazel Whirl. That's because the wrapping delivered the following message: Contains: milk and nuts.
Excuse me? Ex-fucking-cuse me? You're warning me - for a warning is what this bollocks must be - that my chocolate enrobed hazelnut contains the ingredients milk and nuts?
Well thanks, Cadburys, for treating me like a complete and utter retard. And there I was thinking that my little treat solely contained streaky bacon and that I would therefore be safe from any raging lactose allergies that I'd festively decided to ignore. 
What the fuck is wrong with Cadburys (for I lay the utter wankishness of this firmly at their door)? Why did they feel the need to stamp this warning upon every single chocolate in the tin? Some chocs announced Contains: soya while other's hollered warnings about variations of soya, nuts and milk. 
Why not just place a warning on the tin (although even this pandering nonsense makes me froth) before letting evolution take its course? If anyone with a burning allergy to Brazil nuts tucks in after that then it's purely a Darwinian way of eradicating idiots from the human race.
Apart from which, this cobblers sucks the fun out of the very simple pleasure that is eating chocolate. At every bite you're faced with unimaginable dangers, imagining rapidly swelling nut allergists (if that's not a word it should be) and the lactose intolerant shitting out their own kidneys.
So where does Cadburys intend to go from here? What messages will their strawberry cremes display this time next year? Put down the choc, you fat fuck! Or how about You're 30 seconds closer to heart failure, you glutunous prick! Or perhaps a simple Death whore! will suffice?
I know exactly where they can stick their toffee fingers. Fucking fun goblins.