Toffs Ahoy!

Bastards

Oh God, oh God, oh God, I think I'm having a relapse. I can't stop weeping, panicking and feeling as if I've been tossed into the blackest of pits. Oh, hang on though. It's not depression. It's just my reaction to MP Michael Gove's comments that the Queen should be given a new royal yacht to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee.
This is almost more than I can comprehend. Gove, the flap-mouthed Tory arse-wipe, is seriously suggesting that in these times of economic crisis, spiralling unemployment and commercial and personal debt that the nation coughs up £60m as a gift to a woman who has already spent her entire life living off the tax-payer? 
Well, fuck me, Gove, I've clearly had my priorities wrong all along haven't I? And there I was fretting about how young people are wasted in the dole queue, how intelligent kids are excluded from a university education because they can't afford it, how millions of people can't afford to get on the property ladder, how libraries are closing almost weekly, how families are collapsing into debt because they can't afford the basics, how pensions are being stolen from those who've spent their lives paying into them...Clearly, all along I should have been focusing my 3am fears on the fucking Queen and how nightmarish her life must be without a brand new tub to flash about in.
Astounded doesn't cover it. Just think what £60m could do to alleviate some of the biggest social problems this nation faces. And just think of how often the fucking Tories have told us that there's no more money left in the pot. Yet, suddenly, there's £60m sloshing about in some dark corner of the Conservative Party's bank account and the best that Gove can do is to blow it on the Queen?
You know, all I hope is that something good will come of this. Perhaps all of those people who foolishly voted Tory in 2010 will suddenly see what a big fucking mistake they made when they put their cross in the box. Like receiving a kiss from a prince, the nation could now stretch and yawn, gaze about and realise that they've been well and truly had. Let's hope that the nation's memory isn't so short this time around though and that next time they stumble into a voting booth they'll remember Gove, his cash-blowing stupidity and his haw-hawing chums. A Tory government? For fuck's sake, at the next election let's put that one astern.