Faux Fun

Fetch me the cricket bat

I, The Kraken, must have lost my fucking marbles. Yesterday Kraken Junior should have gone to school dressed as a Fairy or Scary (how's that for a PC alternative to Halloween? Jesus). Course, I and the Conjugal Kraken completely forgot until hometime when KJ told us that everyone else had dressed up except her.
Well, fuck me if, in a fit of guilt, I promised that I'd spend today making her any costume she liked. Talk about over-frigging-compensating. It made sense when I was weeping over her mournful face. It made one fuck of a lot less sense this morning when I was bound to my promise.
And do you know what costume KJ wanted me to make? A rat. But not just any rat, no. A pink and yellow rat, dressed as a fairy. Course, I dangled the carrot of a Halloween witch, a pumpkin or a ghoul in the hope that Asda could come to my rescue. Ha. Like that worked.
So what have I done with my Saturday afternoon? Dragged KJ through fabric shops on the hunt for vermin-like fur (before she plumped for lurid pink fleece), hacked the living shit out of a cereal box to make a rat mask (whose ears were too small, KJ announced) and sewed a black button nose onto said mask (via the nail bed of my left index finger). I even wrestled with the hot pink sequins that KJ found, making her look like the Shirley Bassey of the sewers.
And what do you think KJ said when I presented her with her verminous disguise? 
"Can I have a hamster costume instead?"
Tell me, is it OK to say "fuck" in front of a three year old?